For the ear tests words as the tongue tastes food. – Job 34:3 NIV
Holly considered herself a good listener. Yet when friends tried to talk, she regularly interrupted with her own experiences and advice. Louis listened differently: he turned toward the speaker, gave his full attention, asked questions, and reflected back what he heard.
Listening is more than waiting for a chance to speak. It communicates respect and helps us understand what another person is actually saying rather than what we assume they mean.
Take a listening reality check
Consider how consistently these statements describe you:
- I am patient when another person needs time to explain.
- People are comfortable talking with me.
- I try to understand and empathize before responding.
- I give people uninterrupted time to talk.
- I stay with the speaker’s subject instead of shifting to my own story.
- I use appropriate eye contact.
- My posture and expression show genuine interest.
- I keep confidences.
- I choose a private setting for sensitive conversations.
- I withhold judgment while I listen.
Notice the items that are already strengths and choose one weaker habit to practice intentionally. Becoming a better listener is not a single achievement; it is a way of caring for people one conversation at a time.
Excerpted from God’s Design for Community: Proven Relationship Skills for Christians.