What should have been one of the happiest times of my life turned into one of the most difficult.
My second son, Daniel, was born with pneumonia and many abnormalities. After dozens of tests, six surgeries, and examinations from twenty-five pediatric specialists, the doctors told us Daniel’s brain was smaller than usual. They could not predict how it would affect his life.
For three agonizing months, tears constantly blurred my eyes. Questions raged in my head. How could a loving God do this to me or my helpless baby? It was not fair. Shock, anger, guilt, despair, depression, and self-pity crushed me.
When Daniel developed pneumonia for the fifth time, the doctor told us he did not have long to live. Sadness combined with an indescribable peace and joy overwhelmed me. I had trusted the doctors to heal Daniel, but now realized that neither they nor I could do anything to save him.
Finally, I redirected my trust to God and accepted His plan – whether my son would live or die, whether he would be physically or mentally challenged or normal.
Life can be tough. Stress, disappointment, heartache, and hurt are all part of the human condition. But while pain is unavoidable, misery is optional.
I could not choose whether or not to experience pain, but I could choose whether to be miserable. Joy could exist alongside the grief.
Daniel died as a baby. The loss remained real, but so did the hope that he was enjoying heaven and that one day I would see him again.
Excerpted from Keys to Joy: How to Unlock God’s Gift of Lasting Happiness.